So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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