You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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