I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
