Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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