It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
