My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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