that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
