3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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