She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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