SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
