So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
