would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
