i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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