life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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