Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
