I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
