we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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