used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
