you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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