so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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