I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
