you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
