So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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