Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
