I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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