Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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