I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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