Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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