Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
