his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
