in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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