I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
