I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
