we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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