Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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