chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
