i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
