I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
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True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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