Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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