with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
