Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
are you so shy because you have an std?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
