she was so not down for the gang bang
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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