I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
