I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
