So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
