so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
