the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
