So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I won the penis lottery.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
