he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
