The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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