1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
