I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
