I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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