the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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