i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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