Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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