True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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