oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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