I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize