using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
