Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
