dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
