i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
