I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
