FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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